There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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