he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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