Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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