I bet he comes in French.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You're a waste of cheezeits
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
