Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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