I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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