She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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