is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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