I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
