I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
