I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
He kissed a someone with a penis
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I touched a dick in church today
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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