just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
