Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
