i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
