Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
ugly people sure do ruin things
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
