And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
