3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
