i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
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