if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
