Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
