just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
my poor anus
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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