You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
