god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Randomize
