apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
