I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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