Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
