i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
