it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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