i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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