His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
