Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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