At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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