i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
