Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
