I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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