I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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