she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
