physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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