You made me cry and you don't even care
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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