miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
