I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
