jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
