# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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