Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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