can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I understand Curling. That high.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
