I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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