We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
zippers are such a cool invention
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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