Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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