im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
