So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
