Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
