This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
You did what with his pubic hair?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
