Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I am mentally ready for anal.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
